Bollywood style...

Amithabh: Thank you for calling customer care... rishte mein to hum
tumhare baap lagate hain.. filhaal ek customer care rep hain...

Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER

Amithabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap ko chor kaha
tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne meri maa ko gaali dekar
naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere
haath pe yeh likh diya tha... uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis
manager ko kahoge main laaonga..



Dharmendra: Thank you for callllllliiiiingggg .....
Customer: I need help
Dharmendra: main aaraahoon maa...
Customer: I am unable use your product... its waste and worthless
Dharmendra: Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga..
Customer: What!!! I need your manager
Dharmendra: (To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi naachna



Shatru : Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya hai...
Customer : How dare you speak like that
Shatru : Khaaaamoshhhhh. .. seedhi tarah bolde issue kya hai warna...
haaaaaaaaa!! !


Asrani: hahhaaaaaaa naya kabutar ne call kiya
Customer: I lost my invoice
Asrani : Hahhaaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue hain
miljayegi hum angrezon ke zamaane ke rep hain..haahhaaa



Kestu Mukherji: Iiiiiihhhhye. ...
Customer: hi
Kestu Mukherji : iiiihhhyeee tumko ....tumko kya problem hai
Customer : I have not received my product
Kestu Mukherji : To saale (hicup) main kya karoon.. Police mien report
likha...


Bindu: Shabnam naam hai mera... pyar se log shabbo bolte hain..bolo
main tumhare kis kaam aasakti hoon.


Shakti: AAAuuuuuu... mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you for calling
aaauuuuu
Customer: I need your manager
Shakti: Mujhse baat karona.. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa, pyarasa...rep
hooon..


Mehmood: Ayyo Dyevi ... thank youji for calling ji.. Ayyo
Customer : I am not devi
Mehmood : Ayyo muruga... ye dyevi nai ji ... ye to dyeva hai....


Ajit: Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai..... May I know
your name please
Customer : Mona
Ajit: Mona darling... tumne hamein call kyun kiya
Customer : (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER
Ajit: Mona dear.. Agar hum tumhe hamara manager de denge to hamein
manage kaun karega....


Gabbar: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHA ....Jo dargaya wo maraga... batao
tumhen kya chahiye
Customer : I want to buy a product from your company
Gabbar: Kitne paise hai re
Customer : $ 10.00
Gabbar: Suvvar Ke baccho ... sirf... $10.00...dhikkaar hai


Prem Chopra: Prem...Prem naam hai mera.. Prem chopra...
Customer : I lost my invoice I need one
Prem Chopra: Kar bhalaa to ho bhalaa..jaa apni invoice khud dhoond le


Rajkumar : Jaani ..... Tumhara ye call bahut keemti hai.. Ise cut mat karna
Customer: I lost my invoice
Rajkumar: Jaani... ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki cheez nahi
Customer : shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10 minutes...
otherwise I will speak to your manager
Rajkumar : Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena... manager humko dara sake...
manager mein itna dum nahi... humse hai manager.... manager se hum nahi...


Sharukh: Thank you for kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkk
Customer hung up the phone....

Where are the INDIANS ???????

AN AMERICAN VISITED INDIA AND WENT BACK TO AMERICA
WHERE HE MET HIS INDIAN FRIEND WHO ASKED HIM

HOW DID U FIND MY COUNTRY

THE AMERICAN SAID IT IS A GREAT COUNTRY
WITH SOLID ANCIENT HISTORY
AND IMMENSELY RICH WITH NATURAL RESOURCES.

THE INDIAN FRIEND THEN ASKED…

HOW DID U FIND INDIANS…?

INDIANS??
WHO INDIANS??
I DIDN'T FIND OR MEET A SINGLE INDIAN
THERE IN INDIA...

WHAT NONSENSE??
WHO ELSE CAN U MEET IN INDIA THEN…?


THE AMERICAN SAID…

IN KASHMIR I MET A KASHMIRI...
IN PUNJAB A PANJABI...
IN BIHAR,MAHARASTRA, BENGAL,TAMILNADU. ..
I MET A BIHARI,MARATHI, BENGALI,TAMILIAN

THEN I MET
A MUSLIM,
A CHRISTIAN,
A JAIN,
A BUDDHIST

AND MANY MANY MANY MORE

BUT NOT A SINGLE INDIAN DID I MEET

…………………………………………………………..
THINK HOW SERIOUS THIS JOKE IS

THE DAY WOULD NOT BE FAR OFF WHEN INDEED WE WOULD
BECOME A COLLECTION OF NATION STATES AS SOME
REGIONAL ANTI-NATIONAL POLITICIANS WANT...

FIGHT BACK

ALWAYS SAY HUM HINDUSTANI / INDIAN HAI

Touching Story

I was walking around in a Big Bazar store shopping,  when I saw a Cashier talking to a boy, couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.  The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll. 

Then the little boy turned to me and asked: ''Aunty, are you sure  I don't have enough money?''

I counted his cash and replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy the doll, my dear.'' The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally,  I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much .  I wanted to gift her for her BIRTHDAY. I have to give the doll to my Mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' 

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My sister has gone to be with God.  Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.

'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and  said: 'I told daddy to tell Mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' 

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing.  He then told me 'I want Mommy to take my picture with her so my sister won't forget me.' 'I love my Mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me,  but Daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.

' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. 

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again,  just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' 'OK' he said, I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and  we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. 

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money! '
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that Mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have  enough money to buy a white rose for my Mommy, but I didn't dare to ask  God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. 

My Mommy loves white roses.'

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. 

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.. Then I remembered a local news  paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away,  and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether  to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would  not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that  the young woman had passed away.. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch  of white roses and I went to the funeral home to pay last wishes before her burial.  She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the  photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. 

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. 

The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second,  a drunk driver had taken all this away from him

"Weakness or Greatest Strength?"

Sometimes your biggest weakness can become your greatest strength. Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.

The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move.

"Sensei," the boy finally said, "Shouldn't I be learning more moves?"

"This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you'll ever need to know," the sensei replied. Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.

Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened.

"No," the sensei insisted, "Let him continue."

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.

On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind.

"Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?"

"You won for two reasons," the sensei answered. "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grasp your left arm."

The boy's biggest weakness had become his biggest strength.


Affirmation for the Week:
“I will look for and see my weaknesses, but as I hold them in my mind's eye, I will see them for what they truly are - my greatest strengths.”
 
 
Have a transforming week!

Your Brain ....Know the facts..

We've long known that the brain is an amazing thing, but did you specifically know that

• Every person has more than 75km of nerves in their body.

• Your nerves can send messages faster than a Grand Prix car travels.

• The brain is the most complex machine in the universe - it has over 100,000,000, 000 nerve cells each with up to 150,000 connections. Each cell is connected to 25,000 others.

• If every person on the planet simultaneously made 200,000 phone calls, there would be the same total number of connections as in a single human brain in a day

• The grey cells occupy only 5% of our brains - 95% is taken up by the communication network that runs between the grey cells!

• The brain weighs about 1.5 kg in an adult human, about 1.5% of the body weight.

• Damaged brain cells do not regenerate but mental and physical functions can improve after mild or moderate brain damage with skilful rehabilitation.

• Compared to other animals, human brains are big for the body.

• The human brain is only just bigger than your two fists.

• On average, the male brain (approx 1.4kg) is slightly bigger than the female brain (approx 1.26kg).

• Each half of the brain controls the other half of your body.

• In right-handed individuals (which comprise 91% of people): the right side of the brain controls: musical talent, fantasy, imagination, dreams, drawing, and painting.

The left side of the brain controls: mathematical ability, ability to solve logic problems, controls language skills, remembers names, dates, and facts.

• The grey part of the brain is folded to fit inside the skull and, if flattened, it would cover the surface of an office desk.

• The brain contains 100 billion brain cells of which, 100,000 are irretrievably lost each day.

• You can retain about seven facts at any one time in short term memory, but over the long term your brain has to forget things to make room for new memories.

Innocence

A kid, after being beaten by his mom (sitting sadly)

Dad : What happened son?

Kid : Dad, I can't adjust with your wife anymore!

*

*

*

*

*

*

I want my own wife.

Laptop could be a risk..

A couple in Mequon lost their 25 year old son Arun Gopal in a freak fire accident at home June 4th. This is exactly what happened. Arun had
graduated with MBA from University of Wisconsin-Madison just two weeks
earlier and had came home from the campus for a day.



He had lunch with his dad at home and decided to go back to to clean up
his room at the campus.However,his dad told him to wait and see his
mother before returning to the campus as she was due back from work in a
couple of hours. He decided to take a snooze while waiting for his mom
while his dad went out.



Neighbors called 911 when they saw black smoke coming out of the
house.
The 25 year old Arun died in the three year old house. It took several days
of investigation to find out the cause of the fire. It was determined
that the fire was caused by lap top in the bed.

When the lap top is on the bed, the area below it is blocked and the
cooling fan does not get air to cool it and that is what caused the
fire.

Arun did not even wake up to make any effort to get out of bed as he
died of massive carbon monoxide inhalation.

The fact is to make aware that most of us use our lap top in bed and
often go to sleep with it next to us.
Please make it a practice not to do that.

The risk is very real. Make it a rule either not to use the lap
top in bed. Please be very careful !!

Friendship..... ...

Friends..... ...They love you,


but they are not your lover

They care for you,

but they are not from your family
They are ready to share your pain,

but they are not in your blood relation.

They are........FRIENDS! !!!!
True friend...... ..

Scolds like a DAD..

Cares like a MOM..
Teases like a SISTER..

Irritates like a BROTHER..

And finally loves U more than a LOVER.