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Monday, October 6, 2008

Why do women say YES, when all they want to say is NO?

These days, however, girls are enjoying more freedom of choice, when it comes to picking the right groom. They no longer have to say yes, when they mean no. Thus putting the boys on the back foot, even in arranged marriages.

Pranati Khare, a manager at a multinational company, recalls a high-profile proposal from a district collector in Vidarbha. The well-suited collector, accompanied by his uncle, kept boasting about how they have a sprawling bungalow and half-a-dozen maids to do house work. “Your daughter will be like a queen. All she will require to do will be to answer the incessant phone that never stops ringing. You can imagine the post of collector receives a lot of calls.”

Pramila, who was listening to the conversation, said: “Why can’t the collector keep a telephone operator. You don’t require a wife to attend the calls.” Shell-shocked, the boy went red in the face and hurriedly walked out.

Pranati remembers how the entire family disapproved of her behaviour. “Do you know you have lost a good proposal?”

However, she has no regrets: “I could have never adapted to such an egoist and gender-insensitive human being.”

Gen Y, exposed to the world outside the four walls of home, are beginning to exercise their freedom, not only on the career front, but also in relationships. Amit Sinha, an advertising executive, says, “ I can now understand how a girl must feel when she is forced to go through the proposal routine and is rejected by the boy’s side for trivial reasons.” Sinha remembers how his one-sided love for Shubra left him shattered after she said no to marriage. “I never imagined Shubra, who was my constant companion, would refuse to marry me.” Shubra repeatedly explained to me: “I can associate with you as a good friend. I don’t share the same feelings like you have to make a marriage commitment.” Sinha says, “The feeling of rejection is so overwhelming that it transforms into anger, and hurts the ego. Honestly, a man cannot accept a ‘no’ from the woman he likes.”


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