Mumbaiya....

1. You say 'town ' and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.

2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi',
which only Bombayites can understand.

3. Your door has more than three locks.

4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag...

5. Train timings ( 9.27 , 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.

6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.

7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.

8.. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size
of walk-in closet and you think it's a 'steal.'

9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends,
office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay . (REALLY TRUE)
10.. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars
if you call the roads by their Indian name,
they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar  Road, Altamount Road .

11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing* besides cricket which you follow passionately.

12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the ' Bombay Times' supplement.

13. You take fashion seriously.
You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.

15. You compare Bombay to New York 's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India .

16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and
Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport .

18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

20.. Being truly alone makes you nervous.

21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.

22. Only in Bombay , you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken

Ye hain Mumbai ...meri jaan...

A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible .


Where telephone bills make a person ill,
Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.

Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen,
Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,

Where college canteens are full and classes empty,
Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,

Where a cycle reaches faster than a car,
Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,

Where sky scrapers overlook the slum,
Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes,

Where people first act and then think,
Where there is more water in the pen than ink,

Where the roads see-saw in monsoon,
Where the beggars become rich soon,

Where the roads are levelled when the minister arrives,

Where college admission means hard cash,
Where cement is frequently mixed with ash.



This is Mumbai my dear, But don't fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!

When people dislike you...

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.



The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened.. He kept increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept coming home before him.




At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there.




An hour later.... The man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen is the cat there?" "Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife.



Frustrated the man said," Put that damn cat on the phone, I am lost and I need directions to reach home!!!





Moral:

"How much ever we dislike somebody, someday we will need their assistance. So never worry how many people dislike you... "

I am Sad :(

I’m A Lonely Road Of
Broken Dreams


Its A Boulevard That
I’m Searching For

These Stars Are All
So Dull


Its The Moon That I’m
Searching For


Happiness Is So Angry
At Me

Its Life That I’m
Searching For


There Is A Crowd
Around Me At All Times


Its a Friend That I’m
Searching For


My Life Is Just Like
Path


Its A Destination That
I’m Searching For


Don’t Know What Is It
That I’ve Lost




May Be Its ‘ME’ That
I’m Searching For !!

Amchi Mumbai..

Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay. (It is a bay)

Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.

There is no darkness in Andheri.

Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden.

No king ever stayed at Kings Circle .

Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.

Nor is there any princess at Princess Street .

Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel (west of rly line is called Lower)

There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines. (Stayed in the 19th cent)

The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.

There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar.

Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.

Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar* Tram Terminus (Dadar T.T..). (It is still a Train Terminus for many trains)

Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital.

Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.

You cannot buy coal at Kolsa street .

There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl.

There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada.

Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market. (The developer's name was Lokhandwala)

Null bazaar does not sell taps.

You will not find ladyfingers at Bhendi Bazaar.

Kalachowki does not have a black Police station...

Hanging Gardens are not suspended.

Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.

Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi.

Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi,

Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi.



But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!
AMCHI MUMBAI

How to catch a Lion?

Newton 's Method:

Let, the lion catch you.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Implies you caught lion.

************ ********

Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.

Now you can trap it easily.

************ ********

Software Engineer Method:

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.

If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

************ ********

Indian Police Method:

Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .

************ ********

Rajnikanth Method :

Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.

The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

************ ********

Jayalalitha Method:

Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !

************ ********

Manirathnam Method (director):

Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.

Keep murmuring something in its ears.

The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

************ ********

Karan Johar Method (director):

Send a lioness into the forest.

Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.

Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.

First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.

But 2nd lioness loves both lions.

Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.

You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

************ ********

Yash Chopra method (director):

Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.

************ ********

Govinda method:

Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will drop dead just watching!

************ ********

Menaka Gandhi method:

Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

************ ********

George bush method:

Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

************ ********

Ravi Shastri method:

Ask the lion to bowl at u.

U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run

Lion tired and surrenders

Expiry for LPG Gas...

Do you know that there is an expiry

date (physical life) for LPG cylinders? Expired

Cylinders are not safe for use and may cause

accidents. In this regard, please be cautious

at the time of accepting any LPG cylinder from the vendor.

Here is how we can check the expiry of LPG cylinders:
On one of three side stems of the cylinder, the

expiry date is coded alpha numerically as follows

A or B or C or D and some two digit number following this e.g. D06.

The alphabets stand for quarters -
1. A for March (First Qtr),
2. B for June (Second Qtr),
3. C for Sept (Third Qtr),
4. D for December (Fourth Qtr).

The digits stand for the year till it is valid. Hence

D06 would mean December qtr of 2006.

Please Return Back the Cylinder

that you get with a

Expiry Date, they are prone to Leak and other

Hazardous accidents ...




The second example with D13 allows the cylinder

to be in use until Dec 2013 .

DUBAI IS INSTALLING 50-70 BOXES.......

Sleep box - how about sleeping in a box when you are just passing by a large city?











Size: 2 m x 1,40m x 2,30m to sleep in comfort and security.
Cheap sleep in case of emergency for anyone rich or poor!!
No time wasted looking for a hotel
Designed to be installed at train stations and airports, and central public places or cities where accommodation is fully booked.
In tropical climate countries the sleeper box can be installed outdoors in main streets.
The space includes bed, linen, ventilation system, alarm. LCD TV, WiFi , space for your laptop and re chargeable phone. Under your bed and floor there is a cupboard for your luggage.
Payment is made at terminals who will give clients an electronic key that can be purchased for 15 minutes or for as many hours as you need.