Market Crash and its effect on Office policies:

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work .



Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin boa rd under the 'Chronic Offenders'category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.


Lunch Break: (Love this one)

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.



Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management


Pass this on to all who are still employed!

Helping to the destiny..

Forgiving or punishing

the terrorists

is left to God.

But,

fixing their appointment

with God

is our responsibility

- Indian Army





Updated statement for this in S/W INDUSTRY........ .

.

.

.

.

Forgiving or punishing

the Developer

is left to Manager.

But,

fixing their appointment

with Manager

is our responsibility

- Tester





We all knew that..... but this one is for the finishing touch, damn good.




Forgiving or punishing

the Manager

is left to Client.

But,

fixing their appointment

with Client

is our responsibility

How to Identify Software Engineer....

1. He/She never bargains… No wonder things have become so costly!

2. When a cab/bus passes by and you see all the commuters in it are sleeping like they haven't slept for years…

3. Dilbe rt or Calvin is their favorite ca rt oon…

4. Words like issues, tracker, raising requests, buzz/ping, compile, delete [unlike erase or rub it off], onsite [n not abroad is what 'foreign land' is called] are the ones that would be used by 'default'…

5. Weekends are holy words… they are like a salvation one seeks for…

6. "Wazzzup", "Hows life?", are few obvious questions one will be greeted with which would be immediately followed by "how's work?"

7. Salaries, work etc are always better or in good shape in other companies than the one he/she is currently in…

8. They don't send or take things… they always forward them!

9. Drinking coffee is the most pleasurable thing they think they do in the entire day…

10.They seek a search engine in just almost everything they do… When I forget where I have kept my things at home the first thing that comes to my mind is "I wish there was a Google search for my room" J

11.Mondays are always blue…

12.All of them will have a dream to do something in life and that something would never be what they are doing right now…

How Safe is your Child this Diwali?

Originally, Diwali was the festival of lights. Actually it still is, although nowadays, there is a stronger emphasis on crackers and sweets and parties. But all that really matters is that we enjoy this season. How we do it is entirely up to us. The trick is not to let this beautiful festival turn in to a nightmare.


We may wonder how that can happen. It is quite simple, really. Many people love crackers. And children especially so. All those pretty colours and bright lights…and that horrendous noise that sounds so wonderful to the youngsters. Well, we cannot stop kids from being kids. Simply translated it means that we can not keep them away from fire crackers after a certain age. But we can take a few basic precautions to make sure that they do not come in harms way. In fact, here are a few tips.



A simple safety net for burning crackers




1. Adult supervision is a must.
Do not send your children down to burn crackers. Go down with them. After all, Diwali is a family festival and can be enjoyed by everyone. Besides, no one can take better care of our child then us. If it is simply not possible for either of us to join them, a much older responsible child will do.



2. Children in arms should be kept in arms.
Do not let them play around with sparklers as a spark could easily get in to their eyes. They can look from afar. But please do not take them too close. As it is, they are hardly likely to enjoy the loud noise of bombs. Besides, their ears are still very delicate and loud noises are best avoided.



3. No nylons or synthetic clothing is permitted.
Nor should our child wear flowing churidar kurtas, ghagra cholis or dupattas. All this is fine during the ceremony or ‘pooja’. But when burning crackers, make sure they change into something more comfortable and sensible. Avoid jewellery as far as possible as metal is a good conductor of heat.



4. Burn crackers in an open-air compound away from the building wall.
Do not keep the crackers too close to the lamp or candle that we are using to avoid them going off all at once. In fact try to keep all the crackers at a distance and light them in a separate area.



5. As far as possible avoid buying bombs for younger children.
Sparklers, fountains and floor-circles are more attractive and do less damage.



6. Always keep a bucket of water and a blanket at hand.
This is not a fatalistic attitude but a precautionary one. As they say, it is always better to be safe than sorry.

Maternity Leave increased for Women In Government Job :

Making government job more attractive to women employees the government has decided to give 3 years child care leave. Also, the decision has been taken to increase maternity leave of women employees from 135 days to 180 days for each of their two children. The decision makes a women employee to take paid leave up to two years, i.e. 730 days, during her career for taking care of her two children.

She can take child care leave without affecting her seniority. Also, the provision enables a woman to take two years leave even if she has only one child. The child care leave is in addition to maternity leave which has already been vested in women employees. Interestingly, the child care leave can be taken for reasons of rearing or to look after the needs of child or children.

The new leave regime for women government employees conclusively gives three years of paid leave. Whereas it may be a good deal for women employees of GOI, the benevolent act of government will cost a hefty amount to state exchequer; government will be paying employees without any work. On the other hand, the news may make corporate women envious towards women government employees.

Sweet Recipe for Diwali - II

BADAM (ALMOND) KATLI


Ingredients (Makes 35 Katlis approx)
250 gm: Almonds (soaked overnight)
200 gm: Sugar powdered
Few tbsp: Milk
Silver foil (optional)

Preparation:
Drain and change water from almonds.
Peel almonds. Keep aside.
Wash once more to remove any traces of brownishness.
Grind to a fine paste using as little milk as possible.
In a heavy large skillet mix paste and sugar.
Cook, stirring constantly, using a large handled spoon or spatula.
Take care of splattering in initial stages.
Also, do not stop stirring because the mixture burnt and stuck to bottom of skillet will spoil the taste.
When a soft lump is form, which leaves sides of skillet easily, take off fire.
Grease a clean work surface and a rolling pin with melted ghee.
Put lump on it. Roll quickly while still warm to 1/5" thickness.
Apply silver foil and press lightly with foil paper.
Mark out long diamond shapes with a sharp knife.
When almost cool remove carefully with a sharp edged wide spatula.
Cool completely before storing in layers between sheets of butter paper.








SITAPHAL RABDI

Ingredients (Serves 7-8)
1 cup: Sitaphal (Pumpkin) Pulp
2 litre: Whole milk
4 no: Green pistachios, unsalted
4 no: Almonds
1 tsp: Chopped fragrant red rose petals
1/4 tsp: Saffron strands
1/4 tsp: Cardamom powder
3/4 cup: Sugar


Preparation:
Crush almonds and pasta coarsely or cut into thin slivers.
Boil milk in a clean heavy pan.
Simmer for ten minutes after it starts boiling.
Stir occasionally while boiling.
Add sugar. Stir till dissolves.
Take the pan off fire. Add saffron, cardamom, almonds and pistas.
Cool to room temperature.
Add sitaphal pulp. Chill for 3-4 hours till very cold.
Put in individual serving bowls sprinkle a few chopped rose petals to garnish.
Serve chilled.

Sweet Recipe for Diwali - I

JALEBI


Ingredients :
White gram dal - 500gm
Water - 1litre
Sugar - 1kg
Coconut oil or refined oil - 1kg
Jalebi colour (orange) - 5 drops
Salt - to taste
Preparation :
Finely grind the white gram dal with little water. Mix salt in it and make a smooth batter of semi-thick consistency.

Heat sugar in a pan and add water into it. Add the jalebi colour and remove from the fire when it thickens.

Heat oil in a thick bottom vessel. Squeeze the prepared batter into the oil through a thin layered cloth. While squeezing the batter, first make three rounds and a flower shape on top. When it is done (don't fry), remove from oil. Allow oil to drain. Put the jalebis into the warm sugar syrup. Take out after they soak in the syrup for about 15 minutes. Make jalebi's with the whole batter.






BESAN LADDU


Ingredients :
500 gm besan, sifted
500 gm ground sugar
200 gm ghee
1 tsp green cardamom or elaichi , powdered
Preparation :
Heat the ghee until it smokes, then lower the heat. Add the besan and fry on a medium heat until it is a golden colour. Take it off the fire for two or three minutes and add the sugar.

When it is cooled to a comfortable temperature, grease your palms with ghee and form the mixture into balls.

Set aside to cool and harden. Store in air-tight containers.

MNS Protest....!!

Counter View :- Death of a Marathi Manus ...


A time will come in Maharashtra when, just like the Farmers in Maharashtra, the Graduate
Youth of this State will Commit Suicide !!!!

This situation will arise because, All the Jobs in Maharashatra then, will be Occupied by Non- Maharashtrians.
Non Maharashtrians here means not people from North India, South India, etc., But those People who
are Not Domiciled In Maharashtra. Similar situation may happen to people of other states too.

Railway Recruitment Board aspirants are Brutally Beaten Up !!!

There is large scale Rioting in Bandra, Kalyan, etc !!!!

STOP. .....

THINK. Why this Situation has come up ???

The Actual Truth is this :-

Since Independence India's States were formed on the Basis of the Local Languages. Logical.
Since 1976, The employment criteria of the Central Recruitment Board was divided into
zones as per the General People of India. This division was based on the Local Language of the States.

Zone-A Bihar, Haryana, HP, MP, Rajasthan, UP, Andaman, Delhi formed the Hindi Speaking Zone.

Zone-B Maharashtra, Gujarat, Punjab & Chandigad, the Non Hindi Speaking Zone.

Zone-C Southern India States like Kerala, Karnataka, etc. & North Eastern States like
Assam, Mizoram, Bengal etc.

The Central Employment Rule said that 'All Exams for Employments in the respective Zones shall
be Held in the Respective States Only.' So that the Local People may get the Jobs in their Home Town.
Very Logical. For 30 Years everything was going Fine.

But since 1987, there was a Minor Change in the Rule 9 Part 9.2.2, for Zone -B Jobs. And this
was made a Rule since 1988. This change was that 'As an optional Language of employement, People of Zone-A
can Apply for Jobs in Zone-B.' This opened up doors of Employement for All Zone-A aspirants in Zone-B areas.

But with this Clause there was a Sub-Clause, stating ' The Notice of Jobs in Zone-B areas for Zone-A
aspirants, May be given in Zone-A Areas only.' Because of this, Recruitment Notices for Jobs in Maharashtra, etc.
are Displayed Only in states like UP, Bihar, Rajasthan, etc. But these Notices are Seldom displayed in Newspapers
of Maharashtra, etc.

So this time, for the 3000 Railway Posts in Maharashtra, 12000 Aspirants came from Zone-A areas.
The Result of this is that, the Un-employed of Maharashtra is Remaining Un-employed. This will surely lead to
Suicides in Due Course.

Many Parties over these years Requested the Central Recruitment Board to Cancel this Clause.
But this was Not done. The Result of this is, the Large Scale Beating Up and Rioting Today. This violent
means is Not Correct. But has there been any choice Left today ???

This mail is Not to Justify Violence, but to show to you how some Politicians, by Modifying some Rules,
have Subtly ensured that their Constituency people get Better Employements. Why should all these Politicians
hold rallies in Maharashtra ???

How will anything be done, as all these Years people like Nitish Kumar, Ram Vilas Paswan
and Lalu Prasad Yadav are the Railway Ministers. Today many TCs, Booking Clerks, GRP, in the Mumbai Railways
are from Zone-A areas. Today Many New Trains have been started to these States. Holiday Specials & Garib Raths
are also run specially for these States. This is a Fact.

What Should Be Done ;- College Admissions and Employments should be Given on the Basis of Domicile
Certificates. I remember in 1991, when I was applying for College Admissions I was asked to produce
a Domicile Cert. But after my Batch this Rule was Relaxed. 17 years down the line we are Witnessing
the Result of All this.

Agreed, 10% Out of Maharashtra People may be Allowed. But First Think of the Sons of Soil. This should
be applicable Not Only in Maharashtra, but also in other States.

Read and if you agree kindly let others also make aware Not Only Marathi People, But also to Non-Maharashtrians.
Let them also be aware of the Situation that may happen to their Jobs as well.

Chandrayan in trouble ....:)

New Hum Tum.....

Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT ; Woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP ...

Man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION ; Woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP .

Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD ; Woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET .

Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE ; Woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES .

Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY ; Woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING .

That's it!!!

Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things... While women are still STUCK with shopping!!!

Some Moral Stories !!!!!

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting.
On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"

So the eager Senior manager shouted,
"I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff. and he was gone.

Now the Junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted
"I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff. and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said,
"I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST "

Smart Answers for interviews..!!

Very Impressive Questions and Answers..... ...

Question 1: You are driving alone in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:

An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first;

* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back.

* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?

He simply answered:

"I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital.
I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside the Box."


Question 2: What will you do if I run away with your sister?"

The candidate who was selected answered " I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir"


Question 3: Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) - What is one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant.

Girl - I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband.

Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked


Question 4: The interviewer asked to the candidate "This is your last question of the interview.
Please tell me the exact position of the center of this table where u have kept your files."

Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table and told that as the central point at the table.
Interviewer asked how did u get to know that this being the central point of this table,
then he answers quickly that sir u r not likely to ask any more question, as it was the last question that u promised to ask.....

And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittiness. ........


This is What Interviewer expects from the Interviewee. ....

"THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX"

Company Full Names...its funny..

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India
19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.
20. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.
21. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhan

Logical reply

Usefull information regarding blood donation/requirement...!!

There is a site:

http://www.friendstosupport.org/index.aspx

where you can search for a Particular blood group, you will get thousand
of donor addresses.

Time to Laugh..........

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!
----------------
Beggar: Saab Bara Rupayya do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to Che Rupayee ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi Girl Friend banali.
Beggar: Na saab, Girl Friend neh Bhikari bana diya!
------------------
A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it's 25,000
----------------
Which is the most confusing day in America?
Fathers day!
---------------
There's a small gap between confidence and over-confidence. You can kiss
your girlfriend is Confidence. Only you can kiss your girlfriend is Over-Confidence.
--------------
A motorist hit a sparrow. He took d unconscious bird, put in cage with
bread & water.
Bird wakes up, luks around & screams: Aaila Jail !!! Have I killed the motorist

Every Indian… Preaching of the GREAT -Dr Abdul kalam

Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements?
We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?


We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.

Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.

I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.
In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T.Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.
Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.

Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.

Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is yours.

YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke. The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.
YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?


Take a person on his way to Singapore. Give him a name - 'YOURS'. Give him a face - 'YOURS'. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity… In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai . YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah.

YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds (Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, 'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand .

Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston??? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India?

Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay, Mr. Tinaikar, had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels?

In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan.
Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right.. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.

We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.
This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public.

When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?

What does a system consist of? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.

Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.
Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too…. I am echoing J. F. Kennedy's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians…..

'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'

Lets do what India needs from us.

Trains abroad....

China's CRH2:



Taiwans'THSR:



Korea's KTX:



Japan's Shinkanzen:



Spain's AVE:

Japanese Prime Minister English skills

A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton...

The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how r u'. Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'

It looks quite simple, but the truth is...

When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said 'Who r u?' (instead of 'How r u?'. )

Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: 'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...'

Then Mori replied
'me too, ha-ha.. .'.

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

Moral of the Story:
Let Experts do their Work

Keeping Hopes ............

Ek Gadha:- Yaar mera malik mujhe bahut maarta hai.

Dusara Gadha:- To tu bhag kyu nahi jata.

Pehla Gadha:- Bhag to jata.. par yahan future bada bright hai ....
malik ki khoobsurat beti jab shararat karti hai to malik kahta hai,
"Teri shaadi gadhe se kar dunga...!"

Bas isi ummeed me baitha hoon........

Keeping Hopes may not improve your future, but it will certainly
reduce the pain of Today !!!

Some Facts......

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

Happy Durga Puja.......

It is believed that Goddess Durga on her 10 day journey around the earth removes all evil.......
May Goddess Durga destroy all evil around you, within you and fill your & your loved one's life with happiness and prosperity.

ICICI Card holders(Important)

ICICI ATM / Debit cards can be used at SBI ATMs to withdraw money and most shocking thing is, it does not ask for your PIN**.
Even if it asks for pin and if u cancel it, it goes on to the next screen and enables you to withdraw cash.
This security vulnerability was shown live on IndiaTV news channel at SBI ATM in Hyderabad.

So please take utmost care of your ICICI ATM / Debit cards to avoid any such misuse.

Software Engineers Film............

AGAR SOFTWARE ENGINEERS FILM BANATE TO
FILM KA NAAM KUCH AISA HOTA


1. Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai
3. Aao Chat Kare
4. Programmer No.1
5. Mera Naam Developer
6. Java Wale Job Le Jayenge
7. Hum Apke Memory Mein Rehte Hein
8. Do Processor Baarah Terminal
9. Tera Code Chal Gaya
10. Har Din Jo Mail Karega
11. Network Ke Us Paar
12. Debugging Koi Khel Nahi
13. Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehta Hai
14. Raju Ban Gaya Administrator .!
15. Client Ek Numbari Programmer Dus Numbari
16. Login Karo Sajana
18. Naukar PC Ka
19. 1942 -- A Bug Story
20. Kaho Na Virus Hai
21. Crash Se Crash Tak
22. Haan Maine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai
23. Password De Ke Dekho
24. Terminal Apna Login Parayi
25. Mr. Network Lal

Why do women say YES, when all they want to say is NO?

These days, however, girls are enjoying more freedom of choice, when it comes to picking the right groom. They no longer have to say yes, when they mean no. Thus putting the boys on the back foot, even in arranged marriages.

Pranati Khare, a manager at a multinational company, recalls a high-profile proposal from a district collector in Vidarbha. The well-suited collector, accompanied by his uncle, kept boasting about how they have a sprawling bungalow and half-a-dozen maids to do house work. “Your daughter will be like a queen. All she will require to do will be to answer the incessant phone that never stops ringing. You can imagine the post of collector receives a lot of calls.”

Pramila, who was listening to the conversation, said: “Why can’t the collector keep a telephone operator. You don’t require a wife to attend the calls.” Shell-shocked, the boy went red in the face and hurriedly walked out.

Pranati remembers how the entire family disapproved of her behaviour. “Do you know you have lost a good proposal?”

However, she has no regrets: “I could have never adapted to such an egoist and gender-insensitive human being.”

Gen Y, exposed to the world outside the four walls of home, are beginning to exercise their freedom, not only on the career front, but also in relationships. Amit Sinha, an advertising executive, says, “ I can now understand how a girl must feel when she is forced to go through the proposal routine and is rejected by the boy’s side for trivial reasons.” Sinha remembers how his one-sided love for Shubra left him shattered after she said no to marriage. “I never imagined Shubra, who was my constant companion, would refuse to marry me.” Shubra repeatedly explained to me: “I can associate with you as a good friend. I don’t share the same feelings like you have to make a marriage commitment.” Sinha says, “The feeling of rejection is so overwhelming that it transforms into anger, and hurts the ego. Honestly, a man cannot accept a ‘no’ from the woman he likes.”

Jokes...

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!
----------------
Beggar: Saab Bara Rupayya do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to Che Rupayee ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi Girl Friend banali.
Beggar: Na saab, Girl Friend neh Bhikari bana diya!
------------------
A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it's 25,000
----------------
Which is the most confusing day in America?
Fathers day!
---------------
There's a small gap between confidence and over-confidence. You can kiss
your girlfriend is Confidence. Only you can kiss your girlfriend is Over-Confidence.
--------------
A motorist hit a sparrow. He took d unconscious bird, put in cage with
bread & water.
Bird wakes up, luks around & screams: Aaila Jail !!! Have I killed the motorist

For those who use Sanitary pads/Napkins..........be careful..

IF u ever wondered what were the ingredients that made popular brands so
'free! and light and carefree', well here's the bit:

The material that makes the pad so paper THIN, is cellulose gel. YEap,
it's not even cotton!!!!!!

DO NOT wear the same pad for more than 3 hours of a maximum!!! After
this duration, the genital area is prone to bacterial action and may
result in cervical cancer or other complications!!!!!!!!!!

Check the labels of the sanitary pads or tampons that you are going to
buy the next time and see whether you spot any of the familiar signs
stated in this email.

No wonder so many women in the world suffer from cervical cancer and
womb tumors. Have you heard that tampon makers include asbestos in
tampons? Why would they do this?

Because asbestos makes you bleed more, if you bleed more, you're going
to need to use more. Why isn't this ag ain st the law since asbestos is
so
dangerous? Because the powers that be, in all their wisdom (not), did
not consider tampons as being ingested, and, therefore, didn't consider
them illegal or dangerous.

A woman getting her Ph.D. at University of Colorado at Boulder sent the
following: 'I am writing this because women are not being informed about
the dangers of something most of us use: tampons. I am taking a class
this month and I have been learning a lot about biology and women,
including much about feminine hygiene. Recently we have learned that
tampons are actually dangerous (for other reasons than TSS). I'll tell
you this - after learning about this in our class, most of the females
wound up feeling angry and upset with the tampon industry, and I for
one, am going to do something about it To start, I want to inform
everyone I can, and email is the fastest way that I know how


HERE ! IS THE SCOOP:

Tampons cont ain two things that are potentially harmf ul: Rayon (for
absorbency), and dioxin (a chemical used in bleaching the products). The
tampon industry is convinced that we, as women, need bleached white
products in order to view the product as pure and clean. The problem
here is that the dioxin, which is produced in this bleaching process,
can lead to very harmful problems for a woman. Dioxin is potentially
carcinogenic cancer-associated)and is toxic to the immune and
reproductive systems. It has also been linked to endometriosis and lower
sperm counts for men. For both sexes, it breaks down the immune system.


Last September, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) reported that
there really is no set 'acceptable' level of exposure to dioxin given
that it is cumulative and slow to disintegrate. The real danger comes
from repeated contact Karen Couppert 'Pulling the Plug on the Tampon
Industry'). I'd say using about 4-5 tampons a day, five days a month,
for 38 menstruating years is 'repeated contact', wouldn't y! ou? Rayon
contributes to the danger of tampons and dioxin because it is a highly
absorbent substance. Therefore, when fibers from the tampons are left
behind in the vagina (as usually occurs), it creates a breeding ground
for the dioxin. It also stays in a lot longer than it would with just
cotton tampons. This is also the reason why TSS (toxic shock syndrome)
occurs.

WHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVES?

Using feminine hygiene products that aren't bleached and that are all
cotton. Other feminine hygiene products
(pads/napkins) cont ain dioxin as well, but they are not nearly as
dangerous since they are not in direct contact with the vagina. The
pads/napkins need to stop being bleached, but, obviously, tampons are
the most dangerous.


So, what can you do if you can't give up using tampons? Use tampons that
are made from 100% cotton, and that are UNBLEACHED. Unfortunately, there
are very few compani! es that make these safe tampons. They are usually
only found in health food stores.


Countries all over the world ( Sweden , Germany , British Columbia ,
etc.)
have demanded a switch to this safer tampon, while the U.S. has decided
to keep us in the dark about it. In 1989, activists in England mounted a
campaign ag ain st chlorine bleaching. Six weeks and 50,000 letters
later,
the makers of sanitary products switched to oxygen bleaching (one of the
green methods available) (MS magazine, May/June 1995).

WHAT TO DO NOW:

Tell people. Everyone. Inform them. We are being manipulated by this
industry and the government, let's do something about it! Please write
to the companies: Tampax(Tambrands), Playtex, O.B., Kotex. Call the 800
numbers listed on the boxes. Let them know that we demand a safe product
ALL COTTON UNBLEACHED TAMPONS.

AND FOR THOSE OF US WHO USE SANITARY NAPKINS/PADS:

IF u ever wondered what were the ingredients that made popular brands so
'free! and light and carefree', well here's the bit:

The material that makes the pad so paper THIN, is cellulose gel. YEap,
it's not even cotton!!!!!!


DO NOT wear the same pad for more than 3 hours of a maximum!!! After
this duration, the genital area is prone to bacterial action and may
result in cervical cancer or other complications!!!!!!!!!!

REMEMBER! NEVER NEVER NEVER WEAR THE SAME PAD FOR MORE THAN 3 HOURS!!!!
SO yes, please pass on this message to as many women as possible and
save lives!!!!!!!!!!

Microsoft Bus .........

Microsoft recently started bus service for employees at Bangalore.
Employees can start work from the bus itself and their office hours counts from the time they start work in the bus. Same way total working hours of the day calculate based on at what time they stopped work in the bus. Traffic jam in Bangalore is quite normal and company do not want to waste the time of the employees in roads.

The idea was proposed by an employee through their suggestion scheme and readily accepted by the Management.